seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
