His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
