I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Your penis caused this!
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