he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
