it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
