Banned from zoo.
Again?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
this boner is exhausting
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
