therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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