We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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