Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
