The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Life without a bra equals bliss.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
