the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
