Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
