she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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