Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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