I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Randomize