ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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