hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I need to align my fucking chakras
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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