All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
