Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
