At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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