the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Rumble strips road head = magical
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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