So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
