we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You have to summon your inner elephant
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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