carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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