i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
