and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
