you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
should my penis look like a turkey
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
