i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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