He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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