hotel room ftw
I wanna bring you to show and tell
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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