***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
