so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
