so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
