Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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