Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
