I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
