hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
