he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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