How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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