i permit you to call me
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
