Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
