is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
