Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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