Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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