Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
