I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
