Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
