I am puke
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
