We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
