TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
