How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
