I faked an abortion last night.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
