i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
