I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
