Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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