no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
that may or may not have been my penis.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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