Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize