I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
