KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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