I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
