So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you didnt know i had herpes?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
