Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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